It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
please don't ironically join a cult
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