Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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