No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
