Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
