who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize