the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
