I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
