Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
