I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize