Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
