I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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