I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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