it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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