you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
