her vagine was all disorganized.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize