He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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