North Korea, Best Korea!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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