I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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