Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
