he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
