I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
