I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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