I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize