who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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