NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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