omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
