"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
