If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize