all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
