This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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