I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
