I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize