The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
