Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
