I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
