It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
