Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize