I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
