i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
