did you get engaged???
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
