Are we in a gay sports bar?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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