Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
did i walk over a car last night?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
