He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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