I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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