HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
