wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
