I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
