So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
