the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
