I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
