Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
