I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
