i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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