playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
