You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
