Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
