Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
