She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
