haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
