I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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