i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
