Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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