He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
