she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
