do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
