I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize