I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
