If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
