She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
