a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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