i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
