she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
